Thursday, February 28, 2013

I'd rather be smokin......

This here is a post about how my work is driving me to drink.

If the ever-present threat of random drug testing, and, if the policy on recreational drug use was not so fucking explicit....

If I knew for sure that my smoking a lil' Mary Jane tonight could in no way lead to a state of joblessness tomorrow....

I'd so much rather....

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Hannah; My addiction

An affliction I wish to never get over

Thursday, February 9, 2012


As a new chapter begins.... so ends the other. 

So we went back to the crossroads the other day.... It had been a couple of years since and the management had changed, but not much else. The long line to the lone restroom and the packed dancefloor remained.... Taking care to avoid both this time; I sat at the bar instead and reminisced on a time gone by. Leah is married now and with child... I smile ruefully as I remembered that conversation, still fresh even four months later. 
Her: "Hey K... long time." All cheery..... and shit 
Me: "I know, how have you been?" Imitating cheery tone 
Her: "I've been alright.. you?" 
Me: "Not bad.... Congratulations by the way." Remembering my manners 
Her:" O.M.G....... Who told you?" With what I thought was mock astonishment 
Me: "About the wedding?" Not sure what the big deal was 
Her: "No.... Oh!... Crap....." Realizing that the previously non-existant cat was halfway out the bag n wasn't going back 
Me: "Wait... what? Do you have something else I should be congratulating you on?"
Her: "Uhmmmm..... maybe." 
Me: "Wait..... Are you pregnant?" Like what else could it be short pause 
Her: "I am..... " with some repressed pride somehow coming through 

Long pause on my part.... How long does a pregnancy last again? 

Her: "O.M.G. K... are you counting months?" Now that has got to be mock astonishment 
Me: "What... nooo....." 
Her:"Whatever man.... no It Is Not Yours..." But it could have been you moron. 
Me: "No?" Hoping the mock astonishment is taken as such. 
Her: "Sorry hun... am only five months along." Guess it wasn't. 

Short pause as again I pull up that handy calendar tucked away somewhere in my head. 

Her: "Ok... you really need to stop counting... Vegas was more than nine months ago." 
Me: "Oh... Thank Goodness..... whatever happened there was supposed to stay there." All high n mightyish. 
Her: "What happened?" In that tone specially designed to take the air out of overinflated egos. 
Me: "Nothing I guess.... and obviously we can't repeat it this year no?" Tone intentionally laced with regret. 
Her: "You could.... Definitely don't need me for that."

I ordered another glass of Scotch.... I had really been looking forward to Vegas this year.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Oh! For fuck's sake.....

Somehow, last night, the decision to go out and have one shot and an OJ turned into two shots after the OJ, then a Scotch and an OJ, then another scotch and forget the OJ, then undressing and choosing the sofa over the bed...... Thank God for good roomies, I hope my first client this morning is just as non-judgemental:)... Clearly, decision making is not my strong suit, I am going with undecided for the rest of the year. It is safer that way, I think, just don't know for whom. Now where's my damn cell phone!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Mondays with Riri... girls n their moving in ways

It never ceases to amaze me how girls can so quietly sneak their way into your life (home); you don't realize it until you wake up one day n they already moved in..... literally. Yeah, I have a new girl in my life and believe it or not, I am actually loving it. We have totally different lives and schedules and Mondays are the only days we get to spend together, usually at mines.

I noticed it after the first Monday.... her little white hat with the pink bow, tucked in between the cushion n the back of the couch we'd been chilling on. I picked it up and sniffed it, drinking in the fresh smell of her, thought for a second about calling her back to pick it up but then I figured she'd be back in a week anyway, she'd get it then.

Well she did come back the next week, but she didn't pick it up. I completely forgot about it until I went to throw the little blanket she'd left this time into the closet and noticed the little white hat. The week after it was a single pink sock, her fav plastic bottle the next, and so it went, t-shirt, head wrap and what have you. Finally it occurred to me that I should probably confront her.... talk to her about it, you know; nip it in the bud so to speak. Today was the day I was gonna do that.

But as I was kissing her good morning, her mother ran back from the car.....
"Here..." panting and a little out of breath, "I almost forgot to give you these." She smiled mischeviously as she handed me an unoppened bag of huggies. Then it dawned on me, there was no turning back. Aryanna is here to stay.... five months old tomorrow and she's already perfected that part of the game. Boy are we in for some trouble with this one. Luv you girl.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Unstoppable? Nah! Not The Bilas train

It all started when I met a woman on a train...... Remember 'The Tourist'? 

I'm Les.... I'm Kei.... There the similarities end.

I'd been standing by the window like I normally did... looking out towards the horizon.... watching the hills roll on peacefully by. There was nothing on my mind... and it felt good. Peace, like the hills, I thought.

She'd been walking by.... Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her slow down as she glanced my way, hesitate a moment then step up to the window, a few inches to my right, and exclaim how beautiful it was.

I'd smiled and nodded in agreement then I'd sought the beauty she was referring to and not quite seen it... just the peace.

Les: Kei? That's an interesting name.... extending a tiny manicured hand. Nice to meet you.

Kei: Nice to meet you too... Clasping it with my slightly calloused one. Les?

Les: Yes.... Short for Leslie. Did you just get on?

Kei: On?

Les: The bilas train....

Kei: Oh... No... It's been over five months now.

Les: Oh Honey... Then you just got on. 

A wry smile lingering on her face as she added that it's been five years since. 

Wow! Did she say five years....

Kei: No shit... five years?

Not bothering to hide my surprise as I studied her with renewed interest.

Les: I know... Can't hardly believe it myself.

I noted the sun-bleached blonde hair, the spidery lines around her sparkly blue eyes.... the little etches on her taut cheeks, the sun burnt skin, the small bloused frame.... b cups, tiny waist, slightly curvy hips down to the lines of her thighs beneath the fitted skirt to her nicely defined ankles.

Kei: Don't tell me... someone kidnapped you and is holding you hostage.

Mid to late forties... I figured she must be. 

Les: Hahaha... exposing two rows of small perfectly polished teeth. I wish. But look at you... what are you doing aboard? I'm sure you have no problem getting laid.

Kei: But I do.... I just can't seem to be able to close the deal. The gentleman in me is always getting in my way. I quipped but only half jokingly.

Les: Self cockblocking.... how unmanly.

Kei: Yeah.... Tell me about it. But how about you? Do you just not like sex or what is your hold up?

Les: Condoms.

Kei: Condoms? Nearly choking on the syllables.

... TBC

Friday, July 8, 2011

Happy Anniversary Aryanna.... of life, circles and all

So..... a month ago, in the wee hours of the morning, beautiful Aryanna shot out into this world without much fanfare. Her Uncle Kei, exhausted after 9 long months of waiting and anticipating, was uncomfortably passed out in a makeshift bed fashioned out of two hard hospital chairs. Luckily for Aryanna, his expertise in all things birthing... and life in general, was not necessary at that particular moment as the team of doctors, nurses, pusher and urger were able to competently manage her safe passage. He did solemnly swear to her though... that he would always be there for her and that exhausted or not, he would always be alert and ready to fulfill his Uncle duties (read spoil) for the rest of his life:)

Happy Birthday to you my dear niece.