Friday, December 23, 2011

Oh! For fuck's sake.....

Somehow, last night, the decision to go out and have one shot and an OJ turned into two shots after the OJ, then a Scotch and an OJ, then another scotch and forget the OJ, then undressing and choosing the sofa over the bed...... Thank God for good roomies, I hope my first client this morning is just as non-judgemental:)... Clearly, decision making is not my strong suit, I am going with undecided for the rest of the year. It is safer that way, I think, just don't know for whom. Now where's my damn cell phone!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Mondays with Riri... girls n their moving in ways

It never ceases to amaze me how girls can so quietly sneak their way into your life (home); you don't realize it until you wake up one day n they already moved in..... literally. Yeah, I have a new girl in my life and believe it or not, I am actually loving it. We have totally different lives and schedules and Mondays are the only days we get to spend together, usually at mines.

I noticed it after the first Monday.... her little white hat with the pink bow, tucked in between the cushion n the back of the couch we'd been chilling on. I picked it up and sniffed it, drinking in the fresh smell of her, thought for a second about calling her back to pick it up but then I figured she'd be back in a week anyway, she'd get it then.

Well she did come back the next week, but she didn't pick it up. I completely forgot about it until I went to throw the little blanket she'd left this time into the closet and noticed the little white hat. The week after it was a single pink sock, her fav plastic bottle the next, and so it went, t-shirt, head wrap and what have you. Finally it occurred to me that I should probably confront her.... talk to her about it, you know; nip it in the bud so to speak. Today was the day I was gonna do that.

But as I was kissing her good morning, her mother ran back from the car.....
"Here..." panting and a little out of breath, "I almost forgot to give you these." She smiled mischeviously as she handed me an unoppened bag of huggies. Then it dawned on me, there was no turning back. Aryanna is here to stay.... five months old tomorrow and she's already perfected that part of the game. Boy are we in for some trouble with this one. Luv you girl.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Unstoppable? Nah! Not The Bilas train

It all started when I met a woman on a train...... Remember 'The Tourist'? 

I'm Les.... I'm Kei.... There the similarities end.

I'd been standing by the window like I normally did... looking out towards the horizon.... watching the hills roll on peacefully by. There was nothing on my mind... and it felt good. Peace, like the hills, I thought.

She'd been walking by.... Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her slow down as she glanced my way, hesitate a moment then step up to the window, a few inches to my right, and exclaim how beautiful it was.

I'd smiled and nodded in agreement then I'd sought the beauty she was referring to and not quite seen it... just the peace.

Les: Kei? That's an interesting name.... extending a tiny manicured hand. Nice to meet you.

Kei: Nice to meet you too... Clasping it with my slightly calloused one. Les?

Les: Yes.... Short for Leslie. Did you just get on?

Kei: On?

Les: The bilas train....

Kei: Oh... No... It's been over five months now.

Les: Oh Honey... Then you just got on. 

A wry smile lingering on her face as she added that it's been five years since. 

Wow! Did she say five years....

Kei: No shit... five years?

Not bothering to hide my surprise as I studied her with renewed interest.

Les: I know... Can't hardly believe it myself.

I noted the sun-bleached blonde hair, the spidery lines around her sparkly blue eyes.... the little etches on her taut cheeks, the sun burnt skin, the small bloused frame.... b cups, tiny waist, slightly curvy hips down to the lines of her thighs beneath the fitted skirt to her nicely defined ankles.

Kei: Don't tell me... someone kidnapped you and is holding you hostage.

Mid to late forties... I figured she must be. 

Les: Hahaha... exposing two rows of small perfectly polished teeth. I wish. But look at you... what are you doing aboard? I'm sure you have no problem getting laid.

Kei: But I do.... I just can't seem to be able to close the deal. The gentleman in me is always getting in my way. I quipped but only half jokingly.

Les: Self cockblocking.... how unmanly.

Kei: Yeah.... Tell me about it. But how about you? Do you just not like sex or what is your hold up?

Les: Condoms.

Kei: Condoms? Nearly choking on the syllables.

... TBC

Friday, July 8, 2011

Happy Anniversary Aryanna.... of life, circles and all

So..... a month ago, in the wee hours of the morning, beautiful Aryanna shot out into this world without much fanfare. Her Uncle Kei, exhausted after 9 long months of waiting and anticipating, was uncomfortably passed out in a makeshift bed fashioned out of two hard hospital chairs. Luckily for Aryanna, his expertise in all things birthing... and life in general, was not necessary at that particular moment as the team of doctors, nurses, pusher and urger were able to competently manage her safe passage. He did solemnly swear to her though... that he would always be there for her and that exhausted or not, he would always be alert and ready to fulfill his Uncle duties (read spoil) for the rest of his life:)

Happy Birthday to you my dear niece.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Regular sex....

That is what I miss. Justification for a new relationship?
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Thursday, April 21, 2011

No Pun Entrended

I love Wikipedia… I know now the meaning, the different types, usage and even the history of puns; but I still have no idea where to place one except, off course, where none is intended.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

A prisoner in my own mind.............................

Behind these prison walls
Doing my paces
Doing my time
I am, Spending my restless nights
Visioning faces
Oh they all crying
Prison ah nuh bed a roses
The livity it makes me ball
I wish that jah could come and take us back in time
Cause I swear
That I can be a better man
Yes I swear, if only you could understand
The faith in me shall set me free reflection
The faith in me shall set me free reflection
Jah Cure - Prison Wall

Sitting here, at the bottom of this deep dark sea that is the unfortunate circumstance of my life, my ambitions firmly anchored to an unremarkable past, I watch listlessly as my hapless imagination struggles towards an improbable future.... A prisoner of time

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Holy Shit!!!!!!!!!!!! I must have upset de gods

Just this morning, my left ear forgot what it was there for.... now. all I can hear is some ringing that is really about to drive me nuts.... that is if these hives don't get me there first... or this lil' pimple on the inside of my left eyelid.

Two days later, the hearing is almost all back.... just enough so that I cannot quite trust what I am hearing or that I am hearing what I should be hearing. I keep looking around to see if I missed something past the humming that's become part of my left side.

The pimple is gone... I know coz I spent fifteen minutes this morning looking for it; it's still bugging the shit out of me though, hence the looking.... and as soon as I wondered about the hives, the itching started again.... lol!

But other than that, life is golden.... No, I'm not being sarcastic.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Of mirrors and men...

".... if a man can stand up to the mirror, he can stand up to life."... Quoted from Kings of the Evening (2007)

I been standing up to my mirror lately.... on tippy toes too, coz my mirror is not so big and is set a little high... and life; it has been staring me down, big smirk on it's face.... and it's all I can do not to turn around and run.... but stand up I must.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Tonight I cooked....

Again... the food got charred. But seeing how it's been more than a year... I should be glad I was able to turn on the stove without burning down the apartment:)

Oh! Hi Peeps.... Yeah, I'm still around... still bumming:)

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Honey, I'm back... Busted out of the joint

"huh?" I startle myself out of a dream.... look around me and take in my bearing. I'm inside a car.... in the driver's seat of a cramped VW that's badly reeking of cigarette smoke. It's parked inside what apppears to be a large indoor parking garage. The passenger seat is empty but the window is down... a cool breeze is drifting in along with a few snatches of one end of a phone conversation. There is a girl leaning against the car, and she is on her cell phone. From what I can tell she is giving directions. Two words stand out.... "The Strip"

Vegas.... Again?


That's right. Me.... and five.... no, seven girls and the sin city. Praise the Lord.. Halleluhia.....

But not so fast

Two hours into the quick trip to pick up a rental and am beginning to rue my accepting of this arrangement. Female company is highly overrated... I'm thinking, and the possibility of some group action is quickly losing it's allure. I mean... how does a quick stop to pick up some necessities at a CVS take an hour... couldn't these necessities have fit in their carry on luggage like mine did? And besides, if they are necessities shouldn't they be easier to find...

Hmmm! 28.00 dollars for the 1.75l Captain vs $21.00 for the three quarter liter? I should probably stick with Vodka this time around though... ati how much for the Grey Goose? O.k. maybe we'll go with the Sky we've learnt to love.

Oh! Kei..... Don't worry about the Vodka... we've got plenty in the room... it's cheaper in Texas.

"Oh Yeah?"... maybe this ain't that bad... but can we leave already? Holy Shit... a whole cartfull of necessities? How in the world are we going to fit all that stuff plus the luggage we picking up at the airport in the trunk of that tiny Jetta?

Fade in to three hours and three yeiger bombs later....

Oh my word... girls are crazy... and quite shameless too.... all this sex talk is having a funny effect on me. Or is it the alcohol? Hard Rock Cafe here we cummeth..... but first, a quick stop at the drug store we were at earlier. Be right back ladies.....

Twenty minutes later, all but one of the girls dropped off at the club... I finally find a parking spot. I take out the packet from the drug store and start to roll up a small one... I am definitely loving this city... where else can u pick up a dime at your local drug store.

It takes my drunk ass a long couple of minutes but finally I think I'm ready to light up and join Bob Marley in Kayaville. I reach for the lighter that should be in the dash but it's not there. Open the glove compartment... nada. Pat pockets..... Okay, there has to be a lighter in this car somewhere.... oh come on... lighter anyone? Frustrated, I lean back n try to think....


'Oh my God... he is up..... three hours later.... how are we doing Kei?" A very familiar looking face peeks in through the passenger window. I start to answer but my mouth is dry. I notice a half empty cup in the cup holder and take a swig.... and come close to sputtering the contents all over the steering wheel as the straight Jack Daniels scorches its way down my throat.

I bring up my left arm and start to wipe away at whatever little managed to escape my mouth and I notice the roll up in my hand. Looks like a joint that is yet to be lit... what the hell.....