Monday, March 2, 2009

Monday! Need I say more?

"Cuckaa kooo...koooo" an overzealous cockerel, quite intent on delivering in its self appointed role as my rouser, takes a few seconds to regain its breath before starting all over...... "cuckaa....."

There is little comfort in this unwelcome intrusion as I struggle to gather my wits about me: I am hanging precariously over a bottomless precipice, my right hand clutching desperately at the last vestiges of peaceful slumber and the left fastly tied to the dawning of a new day; My legs hang lifeless below me.

The crowing jars my senses, almost causing me to lose my grip.... My grip on a shifty reality that is almost as slippery as the post-coitus rubber that is now standing between the weary fingers of my right hand and a firm grip on the.... Slowly and surely at first, and then fast but just as surely, that one hand starts to slip then slides... The smell of burning rubber, putrid and intoxicating... almost knocks me out.

Soon, it (the right hand) is hanging limply by my side and I am peering fearfully into the darkness below me andI can feel the ligaments and tendons on the opposite shoulder stretch beyond their limits. I'd hear them tear, I'm sure, were it not for the incessant crowing of this darn cock.

I turn my head up, and have to squint against the rays of a just rising sun... to see the ugly face of sobriety peering down at me. I can barely make out the outline, the silhouette is blurry at best, and it seems far and out of reach; but that won't stop me from reaching out and trying to slap the sneer off of its face.

"Cuckaa kooo...koooo" That noise is unbearably loud... I'd reach up and cover up my ears but that is out of the question. Instead, I swing my right hand in the direction from which the light is coming... I miss hitting the ugly face but it lands on the rugged edge of this hole I am in. It feels around for something to hang on to. It takes a moment before it finally lands on something. Excitedly, I wrap nimble fingers around it and give it a little tug to test its strength. It gives without much effort and my hand comes away with it.

"Cuckaa kooo...koooo" The noise shifts as I hold on to this strange object and the closer I bring it to my face, the louder it gets. I bring it as close as my ears will allow and open my eyes.... I have to squint hard to be able to see what the hell it is.

8:15 AM it says.... Stop or Snooze.

"Oh! Shiznit!"

That was last week. Today I woke up and rediscovered the joys of sleeping sober. Coming to three quarters of an hour before my annoying alarm went off... I turned over and finished what I had started last night. I was still late, but I walked into the office with an ache and a self-satisfied smile on my face .


Our Kid said...

Always a great read. Most of us are woken up by our cocks. Cockerels, ahem.

Anonymous said...

Snooze for me please...hehehe.

Crystal balls said...

You're back!! in more ways than one. yay!! GREAT post, love the world play. and i say again, mondays make you a pretty good muse!!

SG said...

Great read!

We have the same alarm tone? Ok we had. I just lost the handset that had that one. At times its annoying. Especially when sobriety is such a foreign word

SimplEnigma said...

Bwaaahhaaa! I LOVE it! :)

|d®| said...

lol @ Our Kid - u got jokes!

KK, that's some good writing right there.
And let me guess - the subsequent ache was preceded by an itch of sorts?

KK said...

LOL |d®|- U got that right.

SE said...

Ok, new blog rule: You are not allowed to comment on my blog unless sai d comment is preceded by an update on yours. Hmmpfhh! Why do I have to wait so long for another good read.

C'mon, it's either this or crack. LOL.

31337 said...

me i was woken up with the crack of dawn. true story. it also has cock in it. too.

this is some good shit. *sniffs post. the other coke*