Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Santadearest@?.? :All I want for Christmas

PS… Due to technical ignorance…. My assuming that the Nokia peeps didn’t know what the hell they were talking about when they reiterated to back up my memory and contacts and such before updating the firmware of my E71 can only be characterized as such…. I no longer have Santa’s contact information. If you happen to (have it), please, kindly forward this email to him. It contains my Christmas list which I have gone to great pains to compile. It would be a shame if he should fail to get it in time…..

So dear Santa,

I hope you don’t find it presumptive of me calling you 'dear' when you and I have yet to meet. Heck, I didn’t even know you existed until I came to this here land of milk n honiez… and even then, I only heard of you through tales told to me on the radio and twice or so, I saw your ugly face on T.V. To be honest, I’d have gone on to discard your myth amongst the pile of useless info I retain at the back of my mind but you wouldn’t have none of that. You surprised me last Christmas by leaving me a rather desirable gift…. albeit at the wrong address.

Yes… that was very kind of you and very clever too now that I think of it. For a moment… six months or so… I was so pre-occupied with it (the gift), I didn’t realize how self serving that act was for you. I mean, now I’ll never forget you… will I? Only one problem though…. while that was a rather thoughtful gift for sure… I wish, in retrospect, you hadn’t tried so hard. In fact, I decided to save you the trouble and make you a list… see below… And what’s more, you don’t even have to choose, just get me everything on the darn list. I even included hyperlinks to picture

Oh! And next time, please, check my address beforehand. Due to my fugitive status, I am not able to stay in one place indefinitely…. But I always leave clues… forwarding addresses… footprints… tell-tale smoke signals…etcetera

Here goes.... in no particular order

1. ns7 Numark NS7

2. Coffin … for the NS7 not for me…lol

3. Computer Desk

4. Powered Speakersaudioengine

5. Laptop Docking Station

6. lg-monitor-W53-Large24” LCD Monitor

7. Leather swivel chairLeather Chair

8. 2006-audi-s4-sedan-6_1024x0w06 Audi S4

And in case you are wondering if I am leaving all my dreams to you to fulfill…. No, just the easy stuff. Getting the listed items should be easy… keeping and maintaining them is the hard part… and using them is even harder. It takes talent, time and patience… apart from the S4…. That one just needs gas and an open highway… oh.. and a sharp eye for the cops. Yeah… Lil Weezy was lying with that Mrs. Officer shit… I’ve found that you are better off paying a stripper to dress as a cop than trying to sing that to a real one.

Come to think of it, perhaps, I should add that to my list. Hmmmh! Can you get your hands on a sexy cop uniform? Or better yet, how about you just get the stripper… I'll work on getting the uniform.

Anyway... that there is my list.... and I do pray that you get it on time.

9 comments:

joyunspeakable said...

Santa? Who is santa? Me thought its that salesman at the shopping mall saying buy buy buy but so muffled you can only hear ho ho ho....

So there he's got ur list...save save save

Our Kid said...

Santa... he he

Mama said...

Santa, as you pass by KK's please remember me.

I have been a good girl this year and I am not going to be greedy {like KK here:-)}. I don't want no iPhone, no fancy car, no laptop, no pretty dresses, no chocolates, I just want that shiny black and silver E71 I saw in the catalogue.

Xoxo-(to Santa!)

Farmgal said...

You know KK could be on someone's christmas list..he sure will come with goodies if santa delivers! That person is not me and no am not telling!

KK said...

FG.... you are saying a lot in what you are saying you won't say.

Mama... U calling me names? Watch me grab ur E71 from Santa's basket.

Kid.... we cheka tu. U'll be the first to shumakia after X-Mass

Joy... U r funny. That u saw was an impersonator. Santa's too busy making house-calls to go shopping in the mall:)

Digzer said...

You've made my evening! Land of milk and Honniez! Tell Santa I'm beggining to really doubt this naughty and nice thing coz he never seems to pass by!

KK said...

Digzer... Location! Location! Location! Is all I can tell you. His supply never equals demand.

|d®| said...

You might a little early for Christmas... or are you on the Islamic calendar? lol!

Audi S4 - 2 thumbs up.

Mo said...

Dear Santa, this Christmas, I wish for KK and my other friends all the things which I wish for myself... after I'm bored with every single one of them.

Thank you.

Mo