The Devil's Advocate

Kevin Lomax: God dammit, what did you do to my wife?

John Milton: Well, on a scale of one to ten... ten being the most depraved act of sexual theatre known to man... one being your average Friday night run-through at the Lomaxes' household... I'd say, not to be immodest, Mary Ann and I got it on at about... [counts on his fingers]

John Milton: ... seven.


"What movie is this?" I ask the gentleman seated on the next seat. He answers with his eyes still glued to the 27" Panasonic in front of us. I settle back into my seat and continue to watch Al Pacino rant on as the devil... Satan's never been played so coolly...... I'm thinking.



"How's the party downstairs?" My neighbor asks.

I start at the sound of his voice. I must have drifted off. There is a commercial on T.V. The movie must have ended.

'Loud...' I want to say.

Instead, I look at my almost empty bottle of Heineken before replying. "....too many dudes, not enough booze"

"Or booty" I add as an afterthought.

"How was the movie?" I look up as I ask....

Dude is looking at me quizzically... Like he is aching to ask me something but is not sure if he should.

"It was great..." He replies somewhat absentmindedly.

"How do you know my girlfriend?" He asks after a short pause.

Now that there is a question I have never been asked before... It is heavily loaded with something... am not sure what.

"I know your girlfriend?" I ask with the most indifference I can muster in my voice.

I look at him closely as I answer. His face is vaguely familiar but for the life of me I cannot place it.He is studying my face too... I guess he's wondering if I am pulling his leg.

"Yes..." He replies... Probably satisfied that am on the level."We met at 'The Crossroads' a little while back. She introduced us."

'Leah!' My heart skips a beat.

I take a swig from my nearly empty and hope the shock did not register in my face. That's right.... no wonder his face looked so familiar.

I was drunk then....very. I wished I was as drunk now.

"Oh yeah!... That's right.... Leah. I'm sorry, I didn't quite recognize you. How is she? Is she here with you?" I'm hoping I don't sound as uneasy as I'm feeling.

"No she's working overnight."

Really? I think to myself glad that she's not. "Her mother and my aunt were great friends. That's how we met." I explain in answer to his first question.

"Didn't she tell you?"

" I never asked her." The dude seems a little embarrassed by my question as he replies.

"Its just strange that the two of you acted like you were real close yet she had never mentioned you before." He goes on to explain himself.

Trying very hard not to sound defensive... I explain that she and I were pretty much all we had for company when we first met. We had just recently arrived stateside and everyone we knew was a boring adult. Consequently, we had spent a lot of time together though we did not have much more in common other than our ages... That we did not get that close coz she had this boyfie who was still in Kenya... blah blah blah...

I am literally saved by the bell when the doorway to the basement opens and regurgitates a rowdy bunch, the cacophony that accompanying them drowning out my lame words.... Seizing my opportunity, I tell him I need to get another beer and bolt downstairs.

I spend the rest of the night watching out for the guy and avoiding any girl who looks halfway married. That means all.... even one Ivy who I'd been eying earlier.

I recently met Ivy at another party. I know she's not married... but I suspect she's taken. One young fella barely out of his teens had been hanging onto her skirts like a sick puppy at the last party. I have not seen him at this one.... but it matters not.

I spend the rest of the night at the DJ's booth.... nursing a guilty conscience.

Why did he look at me like that?

Had he read my blog?

Nobody calls it the Crossroad... He must have read my blog

The questions are endless... All have the same guilt ridden answer... "He knows."

Around 5 O'clock... I figure I've had enough and decide to leave. I need to find a decent girl and settle down... I'm thinking.

As I walk out to my car... Ivy is struggling to get into hers. I inquire if she feels fit enough to drive... She says if I am leaving she'll just follow behind me... that way I can watch out for her.

I am not sure that makes any sense but decide I'm too tired to argue.

As I am driving my mind drifts back to Leah and the boyfriend. I haven't seen her since the day she accosted me at my door. I have wanted to call her several times but stopped just short. Now I know for sure I never will.

I pull up into my parking lot and sit for a while before getting out. I resolve to stay away from girls, period. I got too much on my plate anyhow... All they ever give me is trouble.

As I open the door and get out, I hear the tap tap tap-ing noise of heels on tarmac and look up....

"I hope you have alcohol in your house"

"Ivy, what are you doing here?" I'd completely forgotten about her.

"I told you I was following you. You don't expect me to go home this drunk do you? My mother will kill me." She answers, leaning on my car's hood for support before kicking off her shoes.

I guess she's intent on staying.

"You don't need anymore alcohol" I mutter to myself as I help her up. She leans drunkenly against me as we walk to my door.

So much for my morning resolutions.