Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Holy Sh!#! A Hotness Crap Award... Who coulda thot.

First and foremost, ladies and gentlemen, let me start by saying how sorry I am that I am late and unprepared for this auspicious occasion. Usually, while I have been known to be late on more than a few occasions, it has been a great source of pride and joy for me to know that I have never once been late because of being unprepared… As a matter of fact I have on all those said occasions been quite prepared to be late. Today, however, I came really close to ruining that impeccable record. But, as it was whispered to me backstage by none other than the cue boy, I was not late because I was unprepared; rather, I was unprepared because I was late.

Anyway, to cut a long story short…. the son of a gun (not to be confused with Our Kid) that was supposed to read my acceptance speech for me bailed out at the last minute… and not having that many friends in blogosphere (tongue in cheek), I was forced to show up albeit quite late, and unprepared. But what to do.. huh.

My wise grandfather taught me very little about speech giving. In fact, if my long term memory serves me right, he only taught me one thing about everything. And that was that one shouldn’t use three words where two will suffice.

So…...Thank You.

Tandra… thanks a bunch for having faith in my ability to overcome my inability to be really honest. And Crystal... Am not sure what I like more... that you took me seriously or the compliment you so graciously lavished upon me. So here goes nothing….

1. Honesty : I don’t do honest…. That’s just me. I’m too modest.

2. Seriously: Well… I don’t do that either. And it’s not that I don’t try… I do. I just don’t get far with it. I can honestly say that I seriously don’t get anywhere with being serious.

3. Work: Very inspiring…. Company policy explicitly states that I am not to read or write or comment on blogs… Yet, most of my inspirations occur while at work and seeing how my memory is so short term, I am forced to use devious ways to write and publish them while at my very open work station.

Why do I play this Russian Roulette with my main source of sustenance? Beats me…. Could be I like the thrill… Like how I started drinking at Sixteen and quit (for five years) after I turned legal at 21…. Or maybe it’s coz I am usually either too lazy or too drunk to write coherently when I am home. Yes… I am writing this in the middle of a really busy day…..

4. Girls… Yes, they come fourth on my list. At least they are higher up than boys. I like girls, older girls in particular. I find them so…. Ummmm….. mature. LOL! Of all my failed relationships, 90% or so have been with someone older. Largest age difference being closer to twenty years than I am comfortable with. Perhaps, right there, lies my problem…

Mhmmm! Something else to ruminate on.

5. Men…. I am constantly wondering about my father. Who he is… where he lives… Does he still live… Does he have another family… Do I have siblings I know naught about….. Perhaps that might explain number four. Perhaps not…. But just imagine if I went out with a young lovely one who, God forbid, just happens to be my blood sister… and imagine if she, like me, didn’t care too much about customary courting and one day our child twenty or so years from now decides to take it upon themselves to research their family tree.

6. Aspirations 1 - I wish I was a little bit taller…. My I.D. claims that I am 5’10”…. Which I am with my shoes on. And that is not short if I were on location with Locococomoco at whatever East Asian land mass she happens to be doing whatever she’s doing from.. But where I am, I truly wish I was a little bit taller coz I hate being at armpit level especially in a techno club.

7. Aspirations 2 – I can’t quite see me doing this for much longer. Somebody needs to come up with an application that will let me dictate my blog posts soon or else I will resort to drawing them. Pictures are supposed to speak a thousand words anyway… aren’t they?

8. Aspirations 3 – Yesterday I got up at 6:40 A.M. to start training to run the Boston Marathon in 2010. This morning, I dragged my sore aching body yelling and screaming halfway through the routine before it collapsed in a dead heap on the muddy tracks. And for what for?

9. I love to talk about myself… don’t we all, but being so not talkative at all has it’s disadvantages… hence why, given this opportunity, I could go on and on and on, writing about myself, but I’m afraid that if I do, you will begin to see through the bullshit n all. Mhmmm... maybe that's why I don't talk much.

10. I never realized before that ten was such a huge number. I feel like I have been typing forever.

Oh! I knew there was a string attached to the darn award:)

1.You must brag about the award - Check
2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger - Check
3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.

5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on with the instructions!

Loco - Whenever u get back

Shiko - Welcome back

Maua - I miss your smile. Where u at?

Nikolas - Think u can get off of tweeter long enough.

- Dude... just some Kavau love

Gream - U can consider this an electronic mugging.

Our Kid - Wewe ni wetu... ama?

Mo - Something to mull on as u sip on your coffee.

Joy - You might actually enjoy doing this.

ABE - AnyBody Else if u should feel so inclined.


nikolas said...

ooooooooooooo shit! i actually have to do this? damn. dude, you have rocked this....tag. it is just like i have known you all my life. heh. wait. this is not twitter, i can actually has more than 140 characters on here? awesome!

Shiko-Msa said...

I'm sooooooooo tagged! Does it come with a time line? Apparently I'm better at writing about people other than meself. But the draft is already in my 'unposted posts' folder. I've only managed to raise 4 points! Coming soon.

joyunspeakable said...

randomness, Am so feeling the blow you've thrown my way randomly....you have woken me up and am just wondering, what is being honest? am i...wait we'll see

Mama said...

Who said you are not honest? I like this.

Sleek said...

draw your posts indeed..that would be a first

joyunspeakable said...

i just did the task....i bragged about you tagging me at mine

Farmgal said...

Wow thats honest! Hope one day you find your dad.

Loco said...

ROFL!! Mr man, that intro!! You're a nut!! Teeheehee!! 5'10" is 'giant' where I am, so if things get too thick talk to me in a side bar and we'll organise to get you to higher altitudes!! Hehe!

Still bundus bashing, I shall organise to do the necessary ASAP :-)

Loco said...

ROFL!! Mr man, that intro!! You're a nut!! Teeheehee!! 5'10" is 'giant' where I am, so if things get too thick talk to me in a side bar and we'll organise to get you to higher altitudes!! Hehe!

Still bundus bashing, I shall organise to do the necessary ASAP :-)

|d®| said...

"I love to talk about myself" - funny stuff.

I'll do my best to be as honest in my honest (s)crap!

eizzy.k said...

3 - theres just something so addictive about russian roulette! i feel you...till you get the bullet. then it ceases to be fun!

4 - 20 years? damn...interesting tho...

5 - ah your part of the fatherless nation too? your not alone, there are many of us like that...

6 - we share that aspiration!

savvy said...

You think 5 10 is not tall enough?

Anyway, I had to catch up with all the posts I have missed.

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Tisha said...

now i don't know

congrats on your award and hi, its my first time here.

KK said...

Welcome, Tisha:)