Monday, February 18, 2008

Of strange fellows and beds....... an update

Another $20k on my nightstand..... Did I say I hate Mondays... I live for the end of them. I cannot wait to have 6 Saturdays and a Sunday.... Hell, I'll do away with the Sunday as well. And yes I do believe in 'Hell'..... How else do you explain hangovers....? You can be damn sure if you overindulge in this life there will be hell to pay in the thereafter.


I remember when I used to wake up after the alarm was done ringing or beeping or just plain screaming..... I'd set the alarm for 7:30 and I'd wake up just in time to call my boss and explain that I was again stuck babysitting my nonexistent sister's baby and that I would be a half hour late. Now.... with the advent of old age's come a curious affliction....My body seems to be rejecting the notion of sleep. No matter what time I set my alarm for... I am now beating it by upwards of an hour.


Case in point - last night / this morning.... went to bed at 1:30 a.m after ingesting enough alcohol to knock out a horse....o.k maybe one of those miniature ones.... I was out so fast I didn't even have time to shut my eyelids. How do I know that....? Well, 5:30 a.m. found me staring at my ceiling without having to move a single muscle.....Alarm had been set for 6:45a.m. Eeerie huh? I know...., hence the Hell analogy.....


So anyway, that's four hours of sleep after not sleeping a wink for two nights in a row mostly due to having little or no access to that contraption we fondly refer to as a bed.....


This post was supposed to be an update on my pending induction into the swinging fraternity of the Greater Boston area.... Well..... the heavily anticipated event did not occur. Something came up.... My inviter (for lack of a better term) developed, earlier in the week, strep throat like symptoms. She was, at her Doctor's request, to avoid any group activities (minimal contact) until she had been cleared.


I suppose I should be glad that he didn't altogether quarantine her off on some far away island.... As it turned out... she was feeling much better by Sunday morning and a call to the doctor's office confirmed that she was safe..... she could return to the human race and essential human activities..... So while I was rather disappointed that my venture - into the highly lucrative (I hear it is) world of porn, had to be put off for several weeks, I'm glad to say that I did pass the 'iron test' with flying colors. I actually came really close to taking her breath away.


I have to admit, though, with the disappointment came a significant amount of relief....... I mean, have you seen those films? Well..... the prospect of engaging my skinny a$$ body against a bunch of well practiced, overly sexed (no pun intended) swingers in their own game so to speak, was rather daunting. My hastily ordered bottle of Viagra was yet to arrive...... and had the benefits administrator of my company found out the real reason behind my visit to the Shrink (scheduled for tomorrow), they would soon have been rewriting the small print on my insurance policy. Now how's that for a silver lining on a frustrated(sexually) cloud?



2 comments:

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