Thursday, March 27, 2008

Who am I really?

Where am from and Where I am going.
Not to worry... am not about to bore you with the story of my life.... rather, although I aim not to, I will bore you, just not with the story of my life... No, that one is so unremarkable I'd have to embellish it quite, or otherwise risk boring myself to death as I write..... Besides, its rather long, and unending, and I've but 45 minutes before the Boss kicks me off of his bandwidth and sends me away - to my vacation... Ahhh! Vacation here I come.


Now this is a question with which I grappled for the longest time and no answer seemed quite right.... They tended to be either too critical of self... self depreciating even, or layered in a cloak of self righteousness. I was too blinded by my present to see the future clearly and I was too afraid of my past catching up..... and only keeping an occassional weary eye on the cracked rear-view mirror.

Pretty soon I lost control... one minute it was smooth sailing.... next thing I knew I was crashing through foliage.... bumping against unidentified objects ..... reeling this way ....and then that way.

By the time I had the sense to try and break my fall... my falll had gotten broken..... by the bottom... and it hurt... like hell..... but hell it wasn't. That only came later... I saw who I could have been and I compared him to the wreck that I now was.... t'was hell I tell you... or the closest thing to it I know.

Amazingly I survived.... not to be mistaken with an amazing life thereafter. That indeed it hasn't been... blunder after amazing blunder has been more like it...

When the dust had settled.... and the vodka had numbed the pains.... I gathered what little brain cells had survived.... came up with a workable plan:-

A two year hiatus... away from the person I used to be.... his ambitions and all. I'd experience a carefree life... free of responsibilities to self... and to others. Then I'd hook up with this guy I wanted to be.... and building on my previous experience.... and the lessons from the school of hard knocks ...... and

Now here I am... three years later .....still wandering about... in this wonderland of credit-worthlessness.... drifting from hand to mouth and from mouth back to hand... from robbing Peter to paying Paul.... soliciting Gina.... outside the mall.... evading the IRS and outsmarting the Cops. Tis really a dogs life out here

12 comments:

Tandra said...

deeep!! relatable and tooootallly agree..tis a dogs life out here.

31337 said...

I live like that, carefree, if the bloody birds of the air animals in the forest and whatnot get fed and housed why not me? Am i a communist at heart? Yay for a stronger social security system, raise these rugrats for me would ya?

modo i am said...

did someone say vodka?

i need a vacation too...LOL! hope you get lucky with Gina...

Maua said...

That is soooooooooo true. Census needed, we r sooooooooo many.

KK said...

LOL! I think I know all of you now... Been wondering who the hell these bums toasting me with cheap wine were.

KK said...

Hopefully I'll have access to all y'all at my vacation spot. If not... happy 6 days or so to yah.... and Tandra, no mean shots when I'm not looking.... I know you too well:)

neema divine said...

you need to go home, sit, eat, laugh, sleep, socialise and do nothing....in short a break.

~beth ♥ said...

Newsflash: The American dream is not elusive ... it is fictional. Oh yes, there are those who win the lottery or stumble upon some sort of unbelievable luck along the way but the majority of us have to work for every penny.

This explains why I am so bloody tired.

I want a vacation ... and the vodka.

31337 said...

i want a ndwink, now!

Now that he is off on vacation, party up in here, BYOB.

KK said...

I got a 3hr lay over.... and $4.95 worth 30 minutes of wi-fi..... That right there, Beth, is the American Dream for you....
Neema... I am a little closer to home at least... and in 83 degree weather as opposed to 33 in Boston - heck of a break.
Y'all beware... this cat leaves mdogo and some panya's already marking his territory. 31337, just make sure they don't ruin the furniture:)

31337 said...

Dude, what furniture? :-)

That is some expensive air! Come to Nai, java, Oil libya, nandos, all got free fast wi-fi. Kwanza wacha i leave, i have been here 4 hours already.

Mo Ma said...

And THAT is why I'm never coming to the States. I'd even rather work in NZ or some other obscure place.

Be strong, bro (sis?).