Thursday, April 17, 2008

Daily Wisdom


Things You Can Learn Standing In The Supermarket Check Out Line:

Excerpt from my daily dose of wisdom(yesterday's)...... from apple link on the right......>

1. Never dig yourself in a corner arguing with a clerk. The clerk, contrary to the old retail slogan, is always right. Even if she is humble about it, you will be the one to come out looking like the buffoon.
2. Of course you know that if you change lanes, the line you move to will end up moving slower. So the lesson is to just never change lanes.
3. Never believe what you read in the tabloid headlines, but also do not envy stars and celebrities. Do you really want to end up being chased, hounded and photographed during your worst moments with those photos plastered at every supermarket check out line?
4. Never let your kids accompany you through the check out line. If it is unavoidable, blindfold and gag them.
5. Never be impatient with the elderly woman counting out 19 pennies in change while five people stew in line: someone else is probably in line behind your own mother.
6. Never judge another customer by the beer or tobacco they buy. Never calculate how much money you save by not indulging in beer or chewing tobacco. The person in line behind you will thereby be calculating how much money they save by not indulging in coffee and chewing gum.
7. Never use the ATM/Debit/Credit card machine unless you can zip through the transaction like a 20-something. (I can't, and rarely do unless it is absolutely necessary. Why did they start making us do the clerk's job anyway?)
8. Never allow a newspaper columnist to get in line behind you because your confrontation with the clerk may end up verbatim in the daily paper.

And you thought standing in the check out line was a waste of time! You can get a whole education! Next time you're in line at the supermarket, thank God for the marvelous check out line.

13 comments:

Crystal balls said...

i got one more for you. never use the express counter. it says "five items or less" but most people can't [or won't] read anything that comes after the 'Express'. Or maybe they just can't count...?

31337 said...

Just go to the supermarket at 4 am. No hindrances whatsoever, aside from a cashier who falls asleep halfway through the transaction and leaves you to count out your own change.

neema divine said...

yes....number 8 is so true!!!

modo inspired said...

haiya you also get daily wisdom?...will be back!

Mo Ma said...

@ Crystal. I saw this online anecdote where a woman went to the 6items and less lane with a CARTFUL of stuff. The cashier merely smiled sweetly and asked her: "Which 6 items would you like to buy, miss?"

@ KK. I'm the non confrontational type and my mum is THE confrontational type. She never shies away if she thinks she's on the right. My childhood was chock full of my cringing while she was calling out yet another cashier on shit they'd messed up.

Maua said...

12568 is sawa, but 4, my son thinks he can check me out at the checkout. If I start with the clerks, he deals with me on their behalf. I'm done shopping with him.

bOMSEH said...

I always use teh express counter. I hate shopping that's why I never have more than four items. Normally a 10kg unga, something to go with it, and that's it.

joyunspeakable said...

Picture this.......a guy is infront of me on the express counter......

murmurs from people behind.....one person before he reaches the counter, we ask him to read the sign just above him.......

lol....he goes to the correct line...feeling foolish and embarrassed.

buttercookie said...

Lol...hahaha, about the kids, why?

Lol Crystal balls.

And yeah, 31337 knows what he talks about...I wait till about midnite to his the supermarket. no problem at all..

-Cheri

candybox said...

Never go between 10am and midday cos that's when you're most likely to meet the pensioner counting pennies.

Avoid it between 3pm and 7pm. That's when you have kids filling the aisles after school and people coming from work.

val said...

I don't like shopping with people who keep changing lanes...

but shopping with my mom is an exercise in patience..she'll make you join the queue..then go back to get something..and when its your turn..I'm left there holding the queue up...

@ 31337..you shop @ 4am???

Kelitu said...

lol!
blinding and gagging the kids doesn't work, they will be walking around bumping into everybody. so, just tie them to the front of the cart...cute decoration and atleast you can keep an eye on them.

best shopping day for me is wednesday or thursday morning... the senior citizens are still napping!

31337 said...

val, i do shop at 3 am, some days at 5 am. do you wish to accompany me sometime?