Christmas List

Ok... I finally get it... I am this very day right this here and now starting one... After nearly a decade of giftless Christmas's in this here land of alleged milk n honey..... alleged because I am yet to encounter anyone feasting on both.... or swimming or bathing in.... or wateva. But... I done seen some milky honey(s), for wateva that counts...

As I was saying, after many 6 O'clock risings, (that late only because I did not have to run downstairs to a none existent livingroom... and similarly scant christmas tree), only to observe, on my way to the sweatshop that is my source of sustenance, with a fair amount of disappointment that Santa had not been keeping track of my good deeds, again, this year and had thus not made it down my chimney.... again.

And I didn't have to check to make sure the fat dude was not stuck up there.... since the up there would imply that my humble abode did indeed have such a handy amenity as I suppose a chimney is.

I have finally figured out that the only way to get him to keep track of my good deeds is to have that list going full throttle... otherwise he has no motivation to keep track of anything.... God knows he already has his hands full without having to try and please a yung fella who obviously does not know what he wants or even that he wants anything.

In my defense.... I have only recently discovered the existence of such a list.... Perhaps due to the fact that I was brought up in a home where not a whole lot of emphasis was put on lists..... other than that of the people who were expecting to get fed on any particular day.... and that only because of necessity.... seeing how one error of omission was likely to send one (more likely the weakest one) to bed unfed.

In retrospect, an emphasis on this listing thing would probably have made easier my understanding of the whole 'opportunity cost' concept - hm mm! so we have KSh.20// and we can either buy us a loaf n a half of bread or just about enough cobs of maize and a handful of beans for enough githeri for a week..... tough choice but uh uh... the argument for quantity over quality once again prevails...

As it was, paper (on which to make said lists on was scarce) and would have more than likely not made it to the end of the year..... having, perhaps, gotten used in the lighting of the 'jiko'.

That fancy charcoal burning stove that had me bending over it for ages furiously fluttering a folded (several times over) piece of paper or whatever substitute I could lay my hands on in order to get it going full blast....

That is until I discovered the susceptibility of the girls (hse girls and all) in my hood to my charming ways... that almost always had them so eager to either help in lighting mine or let me borrow a few glowing coals from theirs...

Sorry! Back to the list.... I at this time only have one item on said Christmas list.... a snooze-button-less alarm clock. Only way I figure to get rid of this terrible habit of snoozing myself into lateness on a daily basis. Even on a day like today, when I actually beat the alarm by more than an hour....

6:00 A.M - eyes flutter open and wonder at the fact that I am still alive and that the Maker has seen fit to let me keep my eyesight and a host of other functionalities that this body still possesses.

6:05 A.M - rub and focus eyes on laptop screen and try and make out what my crazy blogthren in obviously different timezones has been upto.

6:55 A.M - surmises that said blogthren is obviously headed to commitment - and that more in staffed facilities with padded walls rather than marital like - ships.

6:59 A.M - Drifts off into la la la land while speculating on how to avoid a similar fate as those above.

7:00 A.M - Jarred back to consciousness by irritation that is only attributable to 21st century devices. Reaches out in a now overly familiar trajectory and hits the snooze button.

7:03 A.M - Repeats above only with a little irritation this time.

7:06 - 8.06 - Repeats above at three minute intervals each time convincing self that there is plenty of time left.

8:33 A.M - Drives into work parking lot right behind slave driver.... wonders if she too has a snoozing problem... or perhaps a boozing one.

8:37 A.M - Finally settles in at workstation and surmises to self - "I should probably call and reserve me a room at one of those institutions...."