Cooking.... not Communicating, Sisters....

Lord save me from girls who can't cook... or worse still, those who can but chose not to... What is this world coming to? I mean, I can totally relate with them..... I know how to cook but will not be bothered to.... But I am a man... or does that mean nothing anymore in these days of gender equality and same sex unions?

'Antidisestablishmentarianism'

There, I finally used a big word. I don't know what it means and no! I refuse to turn to google or wiki to find out.... I would never use it in my regular-speak, thanks to my mother and her heavy tongue which I inherited, and I won't use it in a sentence - in or out of context, but I will throw it out there.... Perhaps some of you bloggers who are forever sending me to google-land with the constant spewage of big words would care to enlighten us simpletons. I hope you too are forcede to go looking for the meaning of it.... and I hope I spelled it wrong just to throw you the hell off.

Ok. Back to my post...... I was going through my text msgs on my phone and came across a barrage of texts from my ex-GF from back in the days before we added the ex prefix. The majority of which went along these lines :- ...hi hon, am cooking tonight so if you are hungry you can stop by after class..... hi pie, am almost done cooking so if the worms in ur tummy r getting vicious only a little while longer and they'll be fine...... hi hon, I assume u r still @ d library. I am cooking, just call me when u leave.... and on and on and on... she clearly had learnt the route to her man's heart. She was good in communicating (her feelings) like that...... and I wasn't, but that's a story for another day.

So am looking thru and erasing them memory-evoking texts when I come across this particular one.....In reply to my text asking if she wanted me to go over to hers for the evening, she'd replied....

'sorry hon, I don't think you want to..... my sister from Red Hills is in town...'

Now, given her tendency to loudly communicate her 'feelings'....I could envision why she'd be shy about entertaining a nocturnal guest in the presence of what I assumed was her elder sister from London; but, we could always stuff a sock in her mouth or as I read in somebody's blog today... she could bite a pillow....there was a will and I was going to find a way.

So as soon as I can I call her and say, "Hey, how about we let your sister have the bedroom and we'll take the couch.... " or something to that effect.

And she bursts out laughing.... that outright laughter that 'communicates' to the laughee how err... stupid what u just said sounded.... So I counter... "hey, don't tell me you are going to let some Londoner ruin our night...."

This time she pauses a little before going, "Kei, you mean to say you never heard that phrase before?"

You can imagine my bewilderment as I enquire as to what the hell phrase she was talking about. So she goes..."Red hills..." and am thinking...."its not a Suburb of London?"

So sensing that we were not on the same page here (duh!), she attempted to take the wool off my eyes so to speak:-
".......mwaura?

...........rolling ?

.............raining?
.......... kunyesha?

...............red robot?
.................. in the red,
..............................reds?"

By this time I have a pretty good idea what she's talking about but am enjoying the growing exasperation in her voice....So I let her go on and on about her damn periods... and I end up going to bed hungry....I gotta find me a girl who can cook.